I am becoming exasperated by this lack of feeling.
This darkness, this numbness has begun to feel like home.
No colours, no light.
Only the irregular pattern of my breathing was keeping me steady.
With no end in sight, there’s only one thing to do.
Let the darkness consume me, my impending doom.
Now I sit and wait for the black dog to leave.
I have not heard the song of birds for weeks
and I have begun to fear that the dog got them too.
The sunshine has folded into itself,
leaving a grey sky,
one that has not been filled with clouds since the sun left us
with nothing but pain.
I let the black dog sit on my chest.
Conjoined to me, i let it lay in the only place it found rest.
And as time went on the dog became so absorbed into me
that I could no longer feel my fingertips across my jagged skin
and my coughs came out as breathless gasps.
The ringing in my ears stayed continuous,
as if to remind me of my equanimity
in the tenebrosity of my stained body.
And as I lay on my bed staring at the cracked ceiling,
me and the dog lay quietly.
As we did all day, and all night.
I closed my eyes and as the tears took flight,
the absence of light became as bright as ever,
leaving me in a pile of dust.