The search does not prevail

I went searching for you
in the depths of the well
I called out your name
and nothing was received
Apart from the echo of my own voice

I looked for that pretty ribbon in your hair
It was red,
silk, and tied in a bow
I thought maybe, it had fallen out
Gone with the wind
carried away by the salt stained waves

I came across a child
who's name i can't remember
But he grasped my hand and asked me to follow him
And so i did, and we kept going and going
down this spiral path
I thought it would never end,
and it didn't

Lost, never to be found
I call out your name with the
hope that you will return
and yet i haven't seen that
red ribbon shine upon my eyes
for many moons.

The Curse of the Blahs

I feel like
a burden
Like an anchor,
holding down a ship
And all i am doing is
Letting the waves beat against me
eroding me
ruining me
There's nothing i can do but
watch, and let it happen

My chest is very
heavy
As if i am carrying
A ton of bricks
They clash against me
and i do not sink
or fall
under the pressure
Instead i give the heaviness
A home
As if it is part of me,
and i am a part of it

My head is a
maze
A series of lines
unconnected
Yet all sending me
these messages,
these reminders.
I am stuck
with no way out.

I feel like a painting
in an art gallery
that has been deemed
irreparable.
As my beauty has been
stained
and tainted
Too far beyond any
recognition.

I have a curse
and it is casting a
blanket of darkness
over me
It is shadowy, and quiet.

Bloodied Textbooks

Click of the trigger.
The grey smoke does not
distinguish
Until the last drop of blood
has been drawn
From the martyr
dressed in child's clothing.

This poem is dedicated to all those who have lost their lives in school shootings. Whether it be from protecting others or innocently trying to enjoy school, i salute the fallen. No one should be scared about going to school.

Womanhood

I am a woman

Until 1928, i did not have the right to vote
So loud yet, so voiceless
The silence of a thousand lifetimes of the women before me

In 1866, i was still being beaten by my husband
He controlled me
Despite me being the one who gifted him life

Until 1967, i could not have an abortion
I must carry this burden
For the sake of a man's ego

In 1888, i only just received equal pay
Expected to hold up a family and yet
I was not granted money to survive

Until 1925, i could not inherit property
It all belongs to my husband, the man
Just like how everything has always belonged to him

I am a woman, who's patience has run thin
And though the chains have not been broken
The grip has become looser
But not loose enough, for the
Oppression of women still carries on today.

Trials and tribulations, life and death
It's a dangerous life
Being a woman.

I dedicate this poem to all the women before me who have fought for our rights. From Mary Wollstonecraft to Jennifer Worth, i thank you.

One way ticket to eternity

Send me at Godspeed
to the palace of destiny
Living out my wildest dreams
surrounded by daisies and tulips and all things-flowery

Push me through the lightning bolt
Russian sabres pulsing at my throat
One wrong move, one limb gone
Tongue repeating a hundred songs

The fire, the ecstasy pulsing through my veins
Blue lights, blue noises create more of a gain
Push me more, push me more
Make my extraterrestrial body soar

Keep it coming, keep it raw
My body is up in flames
and my spirit is no more


My Black Omen

I am becoming exasperated by this lack of feeling. 
This darkness, this numbness has begun to feel like home.
No colours, no light.
Only the irregular pattern of my breathing was keeping me steady.
With no end in sight, there’s only one thing to do.
Let the darkness consume me, my impending doom.
Now I sit and wait for the black dog to leave. 
I have not heard the song of birds for weeks
and I have begun to fear that the dog got them too.
The sunshine has folded into itself,
leaving a grey sky,
one that has not been filled with clouds since the sun left us
with nothing but pain.
I let the black dog sit on my chest. 
Conjoined to me, i let it lay in the only place it found rest.
And as time went on the dog became so absorbed into me
that I could no longer feel my fingertips across my jagged skin
and my coughs came out as breathless gasps.
The ringing in my ears stayed continuous, 
as if to remind me of my equanimity
in the tenebrosity of my stained body.
And as I lay on my bed staring at the cracked ceiling,
me and the dog lay quietly.
As we did all day, and all night.
I closed my eyes and as the tears took flight,
the absence of light became as bright as ever,
leaving me in a pile of dust.